HER WEDDING DRESS

By Arjun Singh Bhati (Jaisalmer, India)

She looks very beautiful in her ‘wedding dress.’ White twinkling mirrors on a red background makes her my ‘favourite lady.’ She wears this dress on special occasions. It takes more than an hour to fold and keep it in her safest tin box with a strong padlock. Perhaps it is the most valuable treasure she has among all the things she possesses. Every month she checks it and puts in the mothballs to keep it safe from clothes moths. This dress is her pride, her love.

She loves this dress as it was sewed by the person who was the most perfect tailor of wedding dresses for newly married brides in our community.

‘I am going to my parent’s home,’ she told me. She woke up very early today, finished all her household chores. Now she was standing in front of the only mirror in my room. She was in her beautiful wedding dress, making herself up. I was reading a book. ‘In such a poor dress’, I winked at her. She smiled but said nothing perhaps she was very busy in making herself up. I thought, ‘It is not good to disturb a lady when she is busy with her make-up box’. If I am right, she never went to any beauty parlour, but I think she knows more than any trained beautician. ‘Ladies from outside India are so simple, they do not use any ornaments or fine dresses; you see them always in the market,’ I told her. I knew that tourists always use simple clothes and minimum jewellery when they are on journey but I wanted her to speak. ‘You always ask for something, new rings or a new necklace. You should learn from the foreign ladies,’ I added. ‘If a lady does not like ornaments or new dresses, she is not a lady for sure,’ she replied. ‘Ha,’ I laughed. ‘I do not agree with you, Madam Anita.’ She came close to me and I could see a local Jaisalmeri lady singing, ‘Diamonds are girl’s best friend….’ ‘Wow! Look at that, ‘Marilyn Munroe in local traditional dress.’ I could not believe on my eyes. ‘So, Mr. Singh, this song is not from Jaisalmer, I hope you know well,’ she said with great pride. Yes, she taught me a good lesson. Of course, ladies from all over the world like to look beautiful. Yes, most beautiful.

She was going to her parent’s home today to join a special occasion, called ‘Bari Bentarna. Omji, a popular tailor in our community, a wedding dress maker, was coming to sew a wedding dress for her younger sister. It was just a week before marriage of Meenakshi, her younger sister. It reminded me of the day, when there was the same occasion was at my home before my wedding.

It was a big function at my home. All the relatives came to my home. Everyone was waiting for the most important person, Mohan Ji, the tailor. He was a (highly-skilled might be better than perfect) perfect traditional dress maker.

In my community ladies do not wear Saris but a traditional costume: a set of clothing that consists of four pieces, Kurti, Kanchali, lehanga and Odhana. Although there are many tailor’s shops in the market, ladies of my community never go to these shops, but they invite the tailors to their home with his sewing machine and give him full honour and respect. Sometime it takes more than a month to book the tailor, as there are no more than three or four tailors in whole city who can sew these traditional dresses. The tailor comes in the morning, chooses an open space in the house with enough light and shadow, sits on the ground and works till late evening. Mostly he uses old dresses for the measurements. Mohan Ji was the only tailor who could sew a perfect dress for a lady without taking any measurements, he only needed to look at her body to get an idea and complete his job to perfection.

Mohan Ji came right on time. One could learn a lesson of punctuality from him. An old man of sixty years carrying a sewing machine on his shoulder and scissors in his hand was right at the door of my home. My mother came out, poured a glass of water at his feet, and gave him a sweet offering. It is a good omen to greet the man who is going to sew the wedding dress of one’s son’s wife. It is all to ensure the happy married life and the long life of the bride and groom. The life of the wedding dress is always supposed to be as long as the life of the husband. After husband’s death, his widow is not allowed to use the wedding dress from then on.

Mohan Ji adjusted his sewing machine in the verandah, where he could get enough light. Ladies were singing marriage songs. Just before starting to sew the wedding dress he wanted to see the bride for her measurements. To my surprise, when my mother told him about my wife’s family, he knew them as he was also their family tailor and he knew the girl (my wife) for whom he had to make the wedding dress. So, without taking any measurements, he started his sewing machine to sew the most important and holy dress for her wedding with only with an idea of her size. Wedding dresses are always the gift of the groom’s family, the style chosen by them but always red in colour. It took more than three hours to complete this special dress. Mohan Ji also sewed some other traditional regular dresses for my mother

But he still had lot of dresses to make for other family members, for my sister and aunts.

When he finished his day’s job, delicious food was served to him and a woollen shawl, a coconut fruit and 101 rupees extra than his daily fee were gifted given to him. He went with a promise to come back next day. It was the wedding season. ‘We will be waiting, Mohan Ji’, my mother reminded him. My mother was very happy; finally the man, who sewed her own wedding dress, sewed the wedding dress for her son’s wife. She told everyone that she had spent a very happy life with my father and wished the same for me and my wife. Well, it was a busy day for all of us, and after a delicious dinner my relatives said goodbye to us and went.

Next day my mother again woke up early in morning, cooked food for us, and kept the sewing machine at its proper place. It was 8.15 in the morning. My mother asked me to go to Mohan Ji’s home. He was late today. His home was not far from my home, and it took ten minutes on foot. I could see about ten or fifteen people outside the tailor’s home. They were all wearing white turbans. White turbans are symbol of mourning for Hindus. I went close to them and asked. ‘He died peacefully last night in his sleep’ a man replied. I stood in the street there for five minutes, prayed for the peace of the Holy Spirit, saluted the great artisan who played an important role in keeping the traditional sewing style in its genuine form and, most importantly made the wedding dress for my wife. It was the last wedding dress from Mohan Ji. The death of Mohan Ji, who sewed traditional dresses for more than forty years for most of the ladies of my community, was a great loss for all of us. But fortunately, he trained his sons and nephews in the same art and they are working hard, they are earning good money and preserving the old style of sewing as well.

Om Ji who is the great successor of Mohan Ji is going to sew a dress for Meenakshi today and my wife is going to attend that same grand function of Bari Betarna.

Notes- Bari- a wedding dress consists all the four pieces Kurti, Kanchali, Parra and Odhana, especially red in colour.

Betarna- to sew the wedding dress.

Kanchali- a full sleeve blouse used under the Kurti. (like full sleeve bra)

Kurti – a full sleeveless blouse that covers from neck to waist.

Lehanga- a full skirt from waist to toe, mostly with an embroidered hem.

All the above three pieces are made from same material.

Odhana. A two-meter long thin and light piece of cloth, different in the quality from other pieces but of the same matching colour.

Sari- a five-meter long piece worn with a blouse and a petticoat, used mostly in cities by ladies. (Not traditional)